I had nightmares every night before the war. When it started - all my dreams were about peace and my life before. Today I had a dream about our reality. Today in my sleep I was processing events from the day.

I guess I stopped dividing realities. I guess, till today, I still hoped to wake up. I still didn't want to believe in all this evil.

Also today I felt, heard, and saw a jet fighter plane just over my head. It was flying lower than a 6-floor building.

I know It's ours. The deep and animal fear inside doesn't care.

One-hundred-hour war.

It is not scary no more. I see a lot of dead bodies in Instagram stories.

Day 4 is chaos and darkness. Darkness so deep, I don’t know how to step. Legs don’t understand where the land is.

This darkness started exactly on time. 19.00

It was so dark that we’ve missed the gas station. Although we had car lights on.

I tried to touch the air. It was so thick. Without any star or the lost window.

My sister built a window cover from mom’s paintings, some cardboard, and my negative fills for filming.

The first part of the day was about speed. My thought ran at such a high pace, that got lost by noon. We woke up very early. Read all news from the night. Kyiv holds strong! It’s a miracle!!

I talked, helped, managed people, cooked, calmed, and read the news all the time. Then I’ve burned some eggs and started forgetting words. The pill helped to relax.

Doing is better than waiting. Doing something calms. Waiting just lest anxiety grows and grows.

My hands have been shaking for four days now. Pill helped. It’s just a light sedative. But it helped immensely.

Everything changed. I’m falling asleep after reading instructions on destroying tanks.

At five AM our door started trembling. I didn't want to wake up. My boyfriend tried to fix it. The door was creating annoying and horrifying sounds. Every sound was horrifying for weeks now.

Later his phone rang. He said to me - continue sleep. I was holding my eyes closed, half-dreaming, half-awake. I didn't check my phone or computer, which were just here, in the bed. I was holding on to this moment. I didn't want reality to destroy it…

my boyfriend came back and sit next to me.

it started, he said.

in less than five minutes, we’ve heard the first bomb of this war.

we are in Dnipro city. Eastern Ukraine. A bomb hit UzhMash - a machine factory.

Today was the scariest day of my life.